Sutilezas

It was bad, but well better of what I thought. It is incredible to say this, but it seems that I always lived a needy stagnation. I ever knew, in the deep way, that it was not nothing of this. Not a big deal. But now I obtain really to feel this. Not, this is not good. It remembers that new challenges appear for the front, good to me worse, limpid and clear, ready to be transposed. Or to transpose me.

It is cool not to have more than to fight against chemical reactions in my brain. It is bad to have that to fight with my thoughts, my crazy metaphysics that now writes this fucking pessimist text, and tomorrow, when I wake up, will be whistling and realizing, exactly, as the world is good and as it is cool to live.

I am thankful for my job. And I am worried about this, because it does not have to be normal to find a thing good a thing that makes me so bad. Badly or not, it serves to distract me, to occupy, and even though to entertain me. It serves to make me feel stronger than every fuckin' body. Losers, all losers. I am working where I am. Feel it, suckers.

Today I heard a music that did not hear has much time: “Use Me”, of the Bill Withers. My God, so much memories. I thought about so many people, people that I could have better “used to advantage”. I have a regret, big regret, for many things: that I made, that I did not make, that I will make, that I will not make.

My zodiac said today: “Take care of your relations and, if you will be entering in a dispute, do it full of well paved faith and decisive action, without handshakes. Without this, your astral will not go to feel itself satisfied and renewed. Change of plans soon.” I was to the dictionary to see what it meant “dispute”. It is this same: fight, rupture. I do not want a dispute. Not, not exactly. This strategy is for weak ones. I do not want more weak being. I never did. Never. And also I do not know as a dispute can leave me with the “renewed astral”. Thing crossbow to say.

I think about Marcela's faith. I think about my own faith, and, suddenly, I feel the skin from my face move. It is a smile. I think about what I will be next 10 years. I think about the problems that had have 10 years ago. They are nothing today, nothing. They will never be.